As The Mirror Slowly Shatters
by GakuenAlicefan27
Summary: Silena's thoughts on what she's doing to others and to herself as a spy. - Contains spoilers for TLO -


I don't know where this idea came from, but I decided to give it a try. I've always liked Silena and thought it would be cool to try and focus on her own problems instead of going for the other major characters (not that I have anything against them).

It contains some spoilers for The Last Olympian.

_**As the mirror slowly shatters**_

Of all the things that Silena missed, the one that she missed the most was being able to look at the mirror and see nothing but a beautiful girl.

She liked to see her gorgeous face staring back at her and her shining eyes bright with joy and happiness. But the last time that happened was very long ago.

Now she was afraid of what she would find through the looking glass.

She knew now that what she was doing was wrong, but she was too far gone in the road to turn back, even if she wanted to.

She couldn't believe she could be so blind and get so fooled. She really did believe that what she was doing was the right thing. She had really thought that maybe a world ruled by Kronos could have been good and things would turn out okay. She believed that she could help saving her friends. If she became a spy, it wouldn't be necessary to kill so many people…

Where in Hades was her head?

The first time she betrayed her friends she already felt horrible. She would go to classes and feel like everyone was staring at her, and not just because she was a daughter of Aphrodite. She would feel like she was an outsider.

That was also the first time that she didn't like what she saw in the mirror.

It used to be her life-long friend, the mirror, just like it was to every one of her siblings, but just like she was betraying her friends, the mirror was betraying her. Her looks had not changed, but she could see a difference. She was now a traitor, a tense girl marked by the guilt of what she was doing and her face showed signs of stress.

She got so scared that she threw the mirror on the ground, and one of its pieces shattered. Later on she decided to take it off of the ground, but she hid it so her siblings wouldn't find it. Just like the mirror, she wasn't whole anymore.

Time passed and she tried to fool herself to pretend what she was doing was the right thing, but it didn't last long.

She and Charles would talk and her heart would flutter like it did every time they chatted, but then she would remember whose side she was on and how she was also betraying him.

Everyone was fighting so hard, and she was the one giving it all away, giving information to the enemy, but she could not stop, they would see someday that what she was doing was for the best, they had to see…

She looked at the mirror again, and the hole was still there to remind her about the last time. It was even worse. She didn't even recognize her face anymore, and she had the impression that her reflection was looking away in shame.

The guilt and the pressure were killing her and she had to keep it all to herself. Maybe she deserved that.

She threw the mirror to the ground again and another piece shattered, along with another piece of her.

Then it all got worse when Charles got killed.

She was a wreck. A total wreck, because a huge part of her was telling her that it was all her fault. She helped the enemy and the enemy killed him, now she would never see him again. Gods, how many lives had she helped destroy?

There was no way she could be forgiven, and Luke wouldn't let her stop spying. She was trapped inside something that she created, and it could cost everything to everyone. She was no better than Luke.

The mirror was there, hidden underneath some of her clothes, a constant reminder of her mistakes. She couldn't take another look at it, and she let it fall to the ground with a big noise. It finally cracked completely, just like her, with all the pieces sprawled over the floor. That's how she was, broken. She was just the pieces of what she once was.

Right there, laying on the floor of the Aphrodite cabin and crying her heart out, she promised that even if she died trying to glue the pieces together, she would find a way to do it.


End file.
